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Saturday, April 1, 2017

Life After WLS: The Divorce Files

Hello friends.

I have been going through my "Bariatric Bible" lately, refreshing myself of the basics.

I have seemed to allow myself to completely get off course and I need to turn around this weight gain I have had. For me that means to go back to the beginning of what worked for me. That would be heading down the road of WLS.

I am very happy I have kept all the literature I was given right from the beginning.

During the initial meeting to see if WLS was a viable option for me one thing still sticks out in my head....the divorce rate after WLS within the first 2 years was between 80-85%!

I can honestly say at that point I thought I would not fall into the 80-85% but rather the percentage that continued in their marriages making them better. After all my then husband blamed my weight for all our marital issues.

Did things get better? Nope.

I had my surgery July 5, 2012. April 5, 2014 my then husband informed me he was moving out.

Right within that 2 year mark of my surgery and having lost 165 pounds! So as I had thought all along it was not my weight and gaining confidence by losing the weight I stood up for myself. Something I had not ever really done during our 20+ years of marriage. My convictions are you marry for life and I just did not want to rock the boat. He had threatened to leave me several times earlier in our marriage. This was unthinkable to me, like I said my marriage vows were taken serious by me....for better or for worse. I had made the decision to marry him so I would deal with the worse despite my unhappiness.

Am I better since?

Yes and no.

At first I had such peace. I can honestly say I really tried to keep my marriage and family complete, I was not the one breaking our marriage vows. I begged him to reconsider leaving and doing this. My vows before God and my promise to be his wife were more important than even my feelings, but obviously not to him.

Progress

It has been almost 3 years now since my life turned upside down and I am still working on getting me back. I found myself quite a bit the first year on my own. I have great brutally honest moments with myself and for the most part I love the woman I am becoming. I have allowed bad habits to creep back in. The worst being eating my feelings instead of dealing with them. It is time to get back to basics for me.

I never will allow myself to return to that person I did not like...at all...inside and out, never.

I am in control and that is a good thing!

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