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Thursday, March 19, 2015

Raw

Good morning lovlies…

Heads up, this is a post for me.

To work through the feelings I am having.

Because…Actually technically Tuesday was the day I closed the door to my past…

I have dealt with a lot over the past couple of years.

Emotionally draining things.

None of that truly compared to things I have endured the past week.

My son who has made some life choices I don’t agree with sent me a very harsh and hateful letter.

I love him, that will never change.

I just hope he knows that.

Then Tuesday I had my divorce hearing.

Now all is final.

My marriage of 21 years is over.

I am now a single mom.

That term stings me.

Hurts my heart.

Saddens me.

I have lost the person I thought 22 years ago would be my life partner.

I have lost my best friend.

The flood of emotions and memories after signing on the dotted line has been unbelievable.

It has been an emotional roller coaster this past year since he told me he was leaving,

BUT

Pales in comparison to what I am feeling now.

The good and the bad.

Which has been an emotional whirlwind.

It is all a learning experience.

That is really what life is all about anyway.

Learning.

Accepting.

Moving on.

I am done with so much.

I have to be.

It is time for me to begin truly look at who I allow in my life and to not repeat allowing my heart dictate my decisions.

I am working on:

Moving on.

Here is where I am.

Mentally and emotionally drained.

To only pick those who inspire.

It is a must.

Might sound harsh, but I have been there for many.

Lending ears to listen.

Arms to hug.

A shoulder to cry on.

Today I do not have any of that to offer.

Just not today.

I need to take care of me right now.

If I don’t I will not ever have those things to offer again.

I want, no need, to heal.

Until next time, be inspiring…

Trish

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