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Thursday, March 26, 2015

It’s an End

Good morning my lovlies…

The week is winding down.

For that I am personally thankful for.

This week has definitely been a week of stress and anxiety for me.

I did enjoy the sun.

The warmer temps.

Recess with the kiddos in my class.

Looking forward to better days.

Warmer days.

Days filled with happy memories.

I loved this recipe and hope you do too.


Salisbury style Steak

  • 4 Hamburgers, frozen

  • envelope of onion soup mix

  • envelope of mushroom gravy

  • 1c water

  • 8oz pkg sliced mushroom

  • 1T Garlic seasoning

  1. Make a freeze hamburger patties or buy frozen patties.

  2. Place in crockpot. Sprinkle soup and gravy over top.

  3. Add mushrooms, sprinkle garlic seasoning over mushrooms and then pour water over all in pot.

  4. Cook on low for 6 hours

This is so very moist and fall apart in your mouth meat.

Easy Peasy.

I added some broccoli red peppers and zucchini in cheese sauce for my side.

Kids loved it.

It was an experiment for a dinner I am planning when some friends come over.

So glad it was a hit with the kids.

Hope your Thursday has many happy moments in it.

Until next time…be amazing!

Trish

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Flying

Good morning lovlies.

Wow….

a week has passed.

Time does have a way of flying.

Or maybe it is that I keep forgetting things?

I am not sure.

Maybe a combo of both.

What I do know is this emotional roller coaster needs to stop and let me off.

I am good…

then I lose it.

I hate it.

What I truly hate is the memory lapses I am experiencing.

I have always been so good about remembering things.

Did not need to write appointments down…

Or make notes to remind myself to take care of important things.

Saw my Dr and she said the anxiety and stress absolutely has an impact of what I am experiencing.

Will return in a few weeks after results of some tests to just rule out anything else that might be a cause…

But in the meantime she said to get some daily exercise.

Sigh…

There is that word again.

I know I need to exercise for many reasons.

It has always been the missing thing in my program.

SO I am making notes to remind myself to get up and exercise. =)

To dust off my mini trampoline…

To get out my exercise equipment.

To actually use the tools I already have to help with my stress and anxiety.

As the days get warmer and we regain our sidewalks walking to work will start as well as family walks a few times a week.

 

Hope your Tuesday is an awesome one.

Until next time…take deep breaths…

Trish

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Just Breathe

Good morning lovlies…

This by far has been one of the most stressful and challenging times of my life.

If I let myself dwell on the  difficulties…

the negatives…

the harshness…

the ones that have no clue…

I don’t think I would be able to make it through.

Instead I am focusing on the positives.

The love…

the encouragement…

the blessing I have in my life.

With that I want to thank you…

thank you to those who have called…

those who have emailed…

those who have reached out to me.

Your thoughts and prayers are a huge help.

Most of all I am so thankful for my faith.

Without that I do not even want to think where I might be mentally…

emotionally.

Let me tell you I am clinging hard…

white knuckled clinging and

just throwing myself into service to Him.

That is when and where I find my peace.

There is just no better place for me to be…

and for my children to see that is where I can find my peace and happiness.

At my meeting this past week someone made mention I was smiling and that was good to see.

Inside my heart is hurting,

I feel broken to pieces,

but when I looked around and saw the happiness…

the love…

the encouragement from people I care about too…

and know they care about me and my children,

how can one not smile?

How can one not be thankful?

How can one not embrace all that is truly good and hold on for dear life?

There is no other place I’d rather be.

Until next time…be grateful!

Trish

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Raw

Good morning lovlies…

Heads up, this is a post for me.

To work through the feelings I am having.

Because…Actually technically Tuesday was the day I closed the door to my past…

I have dealt with a lot over the past couple of years.

Emotionally draining things.

None of that truly compared to things I have endured the past week.

My son who has made some life choices I don’t agree with sent me a very harsh and hateful letter.

I love him, that will never change.

I just hope he knows that.

Then Tuesday I had my divorce hearing.

Now all is final.

My marriage of 21 years is over.

I am now a single mom.

That term stings me.

Hurts my heart.

Saddens me.

I have lost the person I thought 22 years ago would be my life partner.

I have lost my best friend.

The flood of emotions and memories after signing on the dotted line has been unbelievable.

It has been an emotional roller coaster this past year since he told me he was leaving,

BUT

Pales in comparison to what I am feeling now.

The good and the bad.

Which has been an emotional whirlwind.

It is all a learning experience.

That is really what life is all about anyway.

Learning.

Accepting.

Moving on.

I am done with so much.

I have to be.

It is time for me to begin truly look at who I allow in my life and to not repeat allowing my heart dictate my decisions.

I am working on:

Moving on.

Here is where I am.

Mentally and emotionally drained.

To only pick those who inspire.

It is a must.

Might sound harsh, but I have been there for many.

Lending ears to listen.

Arms to hug.

A shoulder to cry on.

Today I do not have any of that to offer.

Just not today.

I need to take care of me right now.

If I don’t I will not ever have those things to offer again.

I want, no need, to heal.

Until next time, be inspiring…

Trish

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Spring….Maybe

Good morning lovlies!

Yesterday was gorgeous here, actually felt like spring!

Not so much this morning

AND

we have more snow on its way this weekend.

Eventually spring will arrive.

The temps will be warmer.

I greatly look forward to that!

I have never been so busy as I have been lately.

However

Busy is good.

Keeps my mind off things that bother me.

It does have a down side though.

One I cannot help.

That of spending time with friends like I would like to.

I do have memories…

and photos…

I remember having a friend when I was a new mom who had found herself a single mom after her husband suddenly died. 

I remember taking it personally she could not hang out with me like we had.

I remember getting angry and hurt thinking she just did not care about me anymore.

I now know better.

It is a very hard adjustment.

Now I get it!

So glad we have kept in touch all these years.

In fact aside for the reasons we became single moms our lives of a single mom are parallel in many ways.

Her kids came first .

Her family was right in there.

Her parents had had some issues they needed her help in.

She no longer was a stay at home mom, but forced into the work force.

All this on top of having to deal with her own personal mental anguish of trying to handle it all.

We were not created to do this alone...

To be a one parent family.

Genesis 2:18 shares that man should not continue on his own.

Genesis 2:24 states that man and woman will be one flesh.

Combine the fact we were created to be together for eternity with the fact  we die.

But were were not meant to die.

Genesis 3:19 Adam and Eve condemned to death as were all of there offspring.

So we were not created to deal with being single parents.

Losing loved ones in death.

No wonder we have such a  difficult time dealing with it all.

It is not what God intended for us.

Thankfully he has also given us a way to return to the intended way we should be.

That is ultimately what gets me through the hardest days.

I know all I see and am dealing with today will someday soon be a distant memory.

Better things are on the horizon.

I just need to get through each day.

Take care of what needs to on that day.

This helps me to do that:

I worry and handle the things I need to each day.

The rest I cannot do anything about so no need to worry overly about them.

I have learned to count my blessings daily as well.

When I focus on those, the bad that I am dealing with just does not seem so bad.

It becomes manageable.

THAT in itself I am eternally grateful for.

Until next time…remain amazing!

Trish

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Change

Good morning friends…

Change happens.

It happens no matter if we want it to or not at times.

There has been sooo many changes in my life.

Things today I am thankful for are the same…

and very different from 2009..

To say I am the same person I was would not be a true statement.

Changes this past year have changed me more than I ever thought possible.

I have found strength I never knew I had.

We moved.

We have started new family traditions…

A Gifting Jar

A Gratitude Jar

Change happens.

22 years ago when I got married never did I think I would become a single mom.

Growing up all I ever wanted was to be married and have a family.

My marriage in no way was a fairy tale.

We had good times.

We had bad times.

We had times that were pure hell.

I took my vows seriously.

For better…

For worse.

Those vows though do not include adultery.

I thought I could at one point forgive and move on possibly healing our family.

I tried.

I can honestly say I did all I could to heal our family.

To bring it back together,

despite the great sacrifice I would have had to make.

So now my family IS healing….

without him.

He calls to say goodnight to the kids…

sometimes.

He takes them to the movies or bowling…

sometimes.

He will be in my life because we have children together.

He will not be my reason for waking …

ever  again.

When I look back, when I allow myself to think of the past…

I realize just how much I lost who I was.

Who I truly am.

I lost me trying to be who I though he wanted.

I craved to be appreciated…

To be loved…

To just be acknowledged.

Nothing I did seemed to produce any of that.

Since he walked out I realized I do not need validation from him.

Or anyone for that matter.

I am enough.

Since he walked out I have found strength I never knew I had.

When he told me he was leaving I thought I would fall apart.

That I would crumble.

That I would cease to exist.

I did not all apart.

I did not crumble.

I do exist.

As a matter of fact in so many ways I could not ever imagined just how well I am thriving!

The pain is still there, but I am finding ways to move past it.

Doing that just adds to my strength.

I still cry at times.

But I am healing.

I am alone,

But I am in no way lonely.

I have found an inner voice and strength that I just never knew was there.

I am looking forward to a new chapter beginning in my life.

I want to completely move on.

For this chapter to be officially closed.

To that day I look forward.

Until next time, keep building your inner strength…

Trish