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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Healing

Good morning my friends!

This past weekend was so much needed.

Family got together for a family day.

Laughing can help in a healing process.

I am absolutely so thankful for my family.

We had so many laughs.

So many smiles.

So many hugs.

So many crazy moments!

Gifts of love given.

Today I get another day to continue the healing.

Today I will work hard at letting go of the pain.

The pain of loving someone for so long that did not love me back.

The pain of losing a man I thought would be there for me forever.

That we would grow old together.

Letting go and accepting that he was not the man I thought he was when we got married.

Today I have the opportunity to accept my situation.

To thrive despite my circumstances.

To allow the emotions to flow,

So I can truly heal.

Something that comes to mind often when I do start feeling like my family is lost is…

We, my children and I, are a family.

Family means so much to me and when my soon to be ex-husband left us I felt like our family was shattered.

That is what truly does hurt the most.

So when she said to me we still are a family she helped me more with that statement than she might ever know.

I hear those words echo in my head often and I smile…

and cry…

and smile again.

We STILL are a family despite the fact he walked out.

We are close and are here for each other.

My kids are awesome and I love them so very much.

They are what really matters.

They are where I find my strength.

Just looking into their faces…

their eyes.

I know we will be ok.

Until next time keep strong!

Trish

Saturday, February 21, 2015

A New Day

I made it through yesterday.

Not without tears.

Not without yelling in my head.

But I made it.

It was hard.

Though my soon to be ex did ask me to forgive him…

he then found someone else…

…again…

while we were in talking stages of what I thought was us working on getting back together.

To heal our family.

So I question how much he truly was sorry.

Through this though I have grown.

I have learned it is better to be silent in many situations.

I have been very angry.

I have been working on other ways to deal with that anger though.

I have learned to let go…

To let go of things I cannot change.

I cannot change someone else.

I can only change how I deal with actions of others.

I truly think that is where I find a lot of peace.

Knowing I can let go of the hurt.

Eventually.

That the actions of someone I loved dearly with all my heart…

Do not define me.

That I can move on…

and not just survive…

BUT

THRIVE!!!

That is my goal to thrive and become a better person.

To be happy with me.

To be a good example for my kids.

To show them we can only change us.

How we deal with the actions of others.

Other people that hurt us.

Other people that disappoint us.

We can change ourselves.

Not for those that hurt

or disappoint

But for us.

For our happiness.

For our peace of mind.

Looking for that silver lining.

This would be one.

That I am learning to be a better me.

Until next time keep shining…

Trish

Friday, February 20, 2015

Happy Anniversary

No, not anymore.

Today 22 years ago I said I do to my soon to be ex-husband.

To say this past year has been hard would be a great understatement.

Our marriage certainly was not a storybook romance but our vows stated…

“For better or worse”

“In good times and bad”

I took those vows seriously.

I cannot speak for him, but I was not the one who left.

The one who cheated.

I also have a very strong religious conviction…

As did he when we first were married…

So at Matthew 5:31,32 it states the only grounds to divorce.

So where my conscience is clear to divorce him,

that does not help with the emotional turmoil I feel.

I have not just lost my husband but…

despite it all he was my best friend.

I know I am not the first to go through this.

I know we all handle things differently.

I know I have sooo many things to be thankful for in my life…

and I am.

I am so very thankful for people I have in my life.

My family…

my kids are awesome!

My friends…

Some new that I have met with our move to a new area,

they have become dear to me.

Some that I have been able to reconnect through all of this from before I was married.

One thing I realized during this past 10 months is just how much I did not reach out to friends.

I spoke to no one about the things that upset me, it would have made things worse in my marriage.

I see the blessings in my life…

I am so very thankful for them.

A reminder to me:

Just breathe!

Take things one day at a time.

Today my heart is broken.

I feel sadder than I think I ever have.

I will do as the above quote states though…

I will fake it until I make it!

And I WILL make it!!!

I truly hope your day today is a great one!

Until next time keep being amazing…

Trish

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