Thursday, December 24, 2015

Ham, Potato & Corn Chowder

#Recipe: Ham, Potato & Corn Chowder #SlowCooker @


  • 2 c. Potato, chopped
  • 1 c. diced green peppers
  • 1 t. minced garlic
  • 1 c. corn
  • 1/2 c. diced onion
  • 4 c. chicken broth
  • 1/2 c. wheat berries
  • 1/4 t. basil, dried
  • 2 c. diced ham
  • 1 c. Milk

Freezer Containers(if you will make ahead)

  • 1 Gallon Freezer Bag
  • 1 Pint Freezer Bag

Directions (To make right away)

  1. In a slow cooker combine potatoes, peppers, garlic, corn, onions, broth, wheat berries, basil and ham.
  2. Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.
  3. Stir in milk.
  4. Continue to cook until heated through, about 30 minutes more.

Freezing Directions (To make ahead)

  1. In a large bag(s), combine potatoes, peppers, garlic, corn, onions, wheat berries, basil and ham.
  2. Place milk in pint bag.
  3. Place 1 bag of milk inside each bag of meat/vegetable mix.
  4. Label and freeze.

Serving Day Directions

  1. Place meat/veggie mix in slow cooker.
  2. Add 4c chicken broth.
  3. Cover and cook low for 6 to 8 hours.
  4. Stir in milk.
  5. Continue to cook until heated through. (about 30 minutes)


Until next time...Keep cooking!


Saturday, December 19, 2015


Good morning lovlies...Hope all is well with you.

Today was the day I got to drive with my daughter K!

Her drivers Ed is coming to a close and by next week she should have her permit.

Exciting times.

Distracting me for a short time from my own issues.

For now I will take feeling so very proud of my girl.

She did great!

Driving!! @

Kat Driving!!!

My little girl is growing up!!

I could not be a more proud mom.

Until next time...keep smiling!


Friday, December 18, 2015

Delayed Anger

Not such a good day here, but do hope yours is going well.

Some days are certainly way more difficult.

This past month has actually been one of them.

On the outside I have to put up a brave front...

Smile, when inside I am crying...

Say things are good, when all I want to do is scream and punch something....


For my kids...

Inside I am fighting with so many things.

I am waiting on an appointment with a physiologist.

Needing to talk through this with someone.

Funny...part of having weight loss surgery was to save my marriage.

I certainly do not regret having it,

losing the weight feeling better about myself...

I am just having anger issues lately about the irony of the whole thing...

I lose 150 pounds and my ex decides to leave me after 21 years together.

Definitely dealing with delayed anger all that has happened over the past 20 months.

There are days I just want to run.

To leave this area so I do not have to run into or see my ex...

His friends...

His girlfriend...

No matter where I go now I am reminded of the fact he left me and we are no longer together.

He has a lot of good qualities...

He is a very caring person for one...

Just not when it came to being a husband to me.

I do not like how I am feeling...

I want my peace back.

I want my happiness back.

I know I am responsible for how I deal with things...

I am just having a hard time dealing with this.

I am feeling so much pain right now...


This helps a little to remember...

Culmination...Delayed Anger? @

Until next time...


Sunday, December 13, 2015

What Does Succeeding Mean?

Good morning my lovlies.

As I was grocery shopping the other day I got to thinking.

I know...scary!

Certainly can be, especially when I am shopping alone...

No distractions...

Just me...

With my thoughts.

The phrase "Succeeding" has taken on way more than when I started blogging I ever thought it would.

Meaning of Iamsucceeding @

It initially was my positive mantra to lose weight.

Now as I am learning who I truly am all over again I am finding...

Inner strength I never knew I had...

Confidence that I did not know was there...


Peace that I have not felt in a very long time.

Along this my journey I have had my share of ups and downs and undoubtedly will encounter ups and downs as life continues.

The biggest difference in me is how I am dealing with things.

Meaning of Iamsucceeding @

The down times are there.

Like I miss having a best friend as my husband,

But I'm filling that void with many friends.

I am giving of myself and time to other projects that do make me happy.

Meaning of Iamsucceeding @

I do not need a man to complete me...

I'm finding inner strength I forgot I had...

But I do hope to find a best friend again...


Someone who treats me with love...



Someone who shares my faith and puts that first..

So the he will be someone...

Who is there for me.

Who is committed to an "us" and his eyes won't wander.

I have learned I deserve that and will not accept anything less.

I don't need to because I'd rather remain single,

Than settle on less ever again feeling as I  can't or don't deserve better.

My life is filled with hope and wonderful things

Most days I can say are good.

The bad ones I deal and move on.

So see,

I can honestly say...


And that that term truly has new meaning to me.

Until next time...keep moving forward and making your own success!


Thursday, December 10, 2015

Three & 1/2 Years?!

Good morning my lovlies!

So the title of this post!

I cannot believe the time that has passed since I had Gastric Bypass Surgery.

So much has changed in that time…

Since that day July 5, 2012

More than weight loss.

My life really.

Who I am.

To continue to move forward though I need to take a moment to see where I have come…

I just recently have come to possess the photos from the day the new me was being formed…

Three & 1/2 Years!!! @ IamSucceeding.comThree & 1/2 Years!!! @ IamSucceeding.comThree & 1/2 Years!!! @ IamSucceeding.comThree & 1/2 Years!!! @ IamSucceeding.comThree & 1/2 Years!!! @ IamSucceeding.comThree & 1/2 Years!!! @

Then we have me…


I am not at goal yet.


I feel amazing.

I am such a different person today and you know what?

I LOVE who I am becoming.

I am still a work in progress and that is ok!

Until next time...Keep smiling!


Sunday, November 29, 2015

Arm Flab Be Gone!

Good morning lovlies... Time to work harder to contour my "new" body.

Starting with my arms.

I hate that arm flab.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Pumpkin Pie

Good morning lovelies!


I LOVE Pumpkin!

Pumpkin Pie

  • 1pkg Silken Tofu

  • 1 1/3 Pumpkin Puree

  • 1/4c Truvia Brown Sugar Baking Blend

  • 1/2c Stevia in the Raw

  • 2T Pumpkin Pie Spice

  • 2 Scoops Everlast VP Protein Powder

  • Dash of sea salt

  1. Heat oven to 375.

  2. Line a muffin pan or spray the baking dish you will be using.

  3. Place tofu in a food processor and pulse until smooth.

  4. Add pumpkin and continue pulsing until smooth.

  5. Add remaining ingredients and pulse until mixed well.

  6. Pour into baking dish/muffin pan.

  7. Tap lightly to remove air bubbles.

  8. Bake for 45 minutes.

  9. Allow to cool for 1 hour.

Muffin tin = 12 servings @ 60 calories & 6 g. protein*

Pie = 8 servings @ 90 calories & 9g. protein*

*NI as written as protein powders vary drastically in calories and protein amounts.

I hope you enjoy!

Until next time…Keep baking!


Sunday, November 15, 2015

ButterNut Squash Soup

Good morning beautiful!!

Hope all is well with you today.

Butternut Squash Soup

  • 1 1/4 – 2 lb butternut squash, cut up
  • Apple, peeled, cored, cut
  • carrot, peeled, cut up
  • 1/2 small onion, cut up
  • 2 whole garlic cloves, minced
  • 2c veggie stock
  • 1 T. curry powder
  • 1/2t. sea salt
  • squirt of lime
  • 2 scoops Everlast VP*
  • 1/2 14oz can lite coconut milk
  1. Place all veggies and veggie stock in slow cooker.
  2. Cook on low 6 to 8 hours.
  3. Scoop into blender, add protein powder and coconut milk.
  4. Blend carefully until no chunks remain.

Makes 8 1c servings each = 83 calories & 7g. protein as written

*Feel free to sub your fave protein powder for the Everlast, just make a note that the NI will differ as the results may as well.

There you have it.

Hit me up with your comments letting me know if you try it and what you think.

Until next time…keep shining!


Thursday, October 22, 2015

A Day For Pumpkin

Good morning there lovlies.

A typical cold dreary fall day here in New England.

Pumpkin Spice coffee started my day.

Starbucks yummy coffee with GNC Pumpkin Spice Shake.

Yummo Combo

Lunch I had some crunchy spicy sushi and a side of fresh mozzarella balls and sweet peppers.

Dinner was a healthy take on Zuppa Toscana.

SOO Good.

Post with recipe will come soon.

Ending the day with a glass of wine.


Great day.

Until next time….keep eating pumpkin!!


Tuesday, October 20, 2015


Good morning lovlies…

Another beautiful day here in New England.

Thankfully more like a fall day then winter like yesterday.

I have been testing and working on recipes and finally have tweaked one enough that I REALLY like.



I know.

I just cannot help myself.

I LOVE Pumpkin!

Maybe too much?



Pumpkin Mini Protein Muffins

  • 4 Scoops Everlast VP*

  • 1/2c Stevia in the raw

  • 1/4t Baking soda

  • 1t Baking powder

  • 1/2t sea salt

  • 1T Pumpkin Pie Spice

  • 1/4c plain greek yogurt

  • 1/2t vanilla extract

  • 1/2c Pumpkin puree

  • 4 egg whites

  • 1/2c skim milk

  1. Preheat oven to 325.

  2. Grease mini muffin tins or use liners(I always spray cupcake liners anyway so batter does not stick)

  3. Combine your dry ingredients in a large bowl.

  4. Combine your wet ingredients in another bowl.

  5. Combine wet  into dry ingredients and mix well.

  6. Drop into mini muffin tin using cookie scooper.

  7. Bake for about 25 minutes.

This makes 24 mini muffins

Each of these little bites of goodness are only 38 calories and have 5 g. protein!

I LOVE this calorie to protein ratio!!

I have made these a few times and we here in this house we LOVE them!!

We love them plain…

With diced apples in them…

With dark chocolate chips…

      Just a few notes.

I used Everlast VP in this, feel free to sub another protein blend I just cannot guarantee they will come out as good.

Let me know when you try this recipe.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Until next time….Keep a baking!!


Monday, October 19, 2015

Today…More like Winter!!

Good morning lovlies!

Hope all is well in your corner of the globe.

Feels more like winter today,


Fall is in full swing here in New England!




Pumpkin Protein Waffles

  • 6 scoops Everlast VP*

  • 1T Baking Powder

  • 1T Pumpkin Pie Spice

  • 1/2t Baking Soda

  • 1/8t sea salt

  • 1/4c Stevia sugar blend

  • 3 egg whites

  • 1c pumpkin puree

  • 2c skim milk**

  • 1t molasses

  • 2T coconut oil, melted

  1. Place all dry ingredients in bowl and mix.

  2. Place all wet ingredients in bowl and mix.

  3. Combine dry and wet ingredients well. Batter will be thick.

  4. Drop onto waffle iron and cook.

*I use Everlast VP protein powder, I have tried other brands and have not come out as good but feel free to substitute.

**I used skim milk but feel free to use milk of choice.

As written makes 40 mini waffles or 10 full waffles.

Let me just say these were AMAZING!!!

They are also Kid approved…My kids!

They freeze well and are a great breakfast or snack.

I did not even need any toppings on these but the options there are endless.

Let me know how you enjoyed these if you make them.

Until next time…Keep warm!


Friday, September 18, 2015

Almost Fall

Good morning my lovlies.

Been a rough week mentally here for me.

Yes still.

I just cannot seem to get out of my own way.

I know it shall pass but hate it.

This finally happened this week.

Got my boy in the kitchen to help prepare dinner.

In fact the kids will both be helping prepare dinner more often.

Teaching life skills are so important and with all the changes that were thrown upon us over the past year and a half some of those goals I had sort of got put on hold.

In fact cooking was not happening much at all.

Thus not the healthiest eating has been happening here in this house.

THAT I know is a contributor to the mental crud too.

So I am working on pulling in the reigns and getting back to my healthy lifestyle.

That is truly what it needs to be to be successful.

A change that is sustainable with your life.

Little by little I am making positive changes.

With Fall approaching that also means it is our Family Photo time again.

My dear friend Heather will be blessing us with her awesome photo talents taking them again this year.

THANK YOU Heather!!!!!

AT this moment I am not looking forward to being in front of the camera.

This last year I have just felt like I have not made any strides in my weight loss area and am finding myself struggling with the mental lack of confidence crud.

As time is passing I am really struggling with some aspects of being a single Mom.

I am not alone…

I have 2 of my 3 amazing children home with me and they truly are a joy and I just do not know what I would do without them.


I find myself having a hard time being “alone”.

My friends are married.

I feel like I do not belong anywhere.

I seem to be constantly surrounded with teenagers.

They are the ones single.

And of course these are my daughters friends and I am really only there as the adult keeping things in check.

I love being with my kids and their friends, do not misunderstand what I am trying to say.

I just hate and I mean hate being single.

BUT I also cannot..

No WILL NOT just settle for just anyone to NOT be single anymore.

I did that 23 years ago.

I settled.

I did not listen to my inner voice to walk away.

I felt at the time I could not ask for or expect anything or anyone better.

I thought “we” could work it out.

BUT it does take “we” and part of that “we” decided “we” were no longer worth fighting for.

I was not worth it.

Thought I had worked through all of this.

I guess not.

My faith coupled with my children and my closest friends have helped me so much.

For them I am eternally grateful and so happy they are in my life.

Focus on the positive and move forward.

That is all we can do.

One day at a time.

If you made it through my whining this far I thank you!

Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging…

I started this Blog journal way back when

To keep me accountable…

To share my journey…

To share recipes and exercise ideas…

To maybe hopefully inspire just one person to make healthier choices.

I hope you have an absolutely amazing weekend!

Until next time…keep smiling!!!


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Pumpkin Pie Smoothie

Ah yes Fall is approaching.

Time when all things pumpkin reign here in this house!

Pumpkin Pie Smoothie

  • 8 oz water
  • 1/2c pumpkin Puree
  • 1 rounded t. pumpkin pie spice
  • 1T Sugar free fat free cheesecake pudding
  • 1 scoop Everlast VP Vanilla Protein Powder* (or protein powder of choice)
  • 6 ice cubes

Place all ingredients in blender in order.

Blend well.


This is great to use as an on-the-go meal or snack, it holds together well, incase you want to bring a treat with ya!

I do LOVE pumpkin…maybe too much.

Nah, not possible.

Until next time…Enjoy the remaining days of summer!


Friday, August 28, 2015

Fall… My Favorite Time of the Year!

Good morning my lovlies!!

Fall is on our door step and along with it comes some of my all time fave things of the year.

Apple picking!

Which we actually have not done in a while but when my older 2 were young and we lived in SC we would go every year.

Since moving to Maine 12 years ago it has been a hit or miss.

Not this year!

We are going.

Fall brings…

All things PUMPKIN!!!!

Love the smell…

Love the taste…

Love the health benefits it contains.

Some of my fave recipes…

Pumpkin Baked Oatmeal Bars

Pumpkin Pie Latte

Pumpkin Swirl Brownies

Pumpkin Pie Soup

High Protein Pumpkin Cupcakes

Creamy Tomato Soup

So looking forward to walks and hikes in the woods with my kids.

To being more active each season.

To being healthier and better than I was the season before.

Improving me all over.

Until next time…keep being healthy!!


Sunday, July 12, 2015


Good morning lovlies!!

I LOVE this song, just makes me wanna dance.

Then add the dancing scenes to it.

Match perfectly for me.

Hope you enjoy!

Until next time…Keep dancing!!


Friday, July 10, 2015

It’s A Gym

Good morning lovlies!!

Hope you are all doing well this wonderful Friday morning.

I was finally able to get back in a gym!

But better than that my kids can join me in working out.

Getting fit as a family.

Planet Fitness would not even let my son in the gym to sit quietly and read while I worked out.

Anytime Fitness allows him to work out on cardio machines WITH me!

That is a major plus in my book!

Teaching them young to take care of their health.

I am taking the No excuses approach here.

We attend a theocratic meeting on Thursday nights until about 8:45 and we had not gotten to the gym prior to going….

So what should I do?!

Go AFTER meeting of course!

Which is exactly what we did.

Did a leg workout and cardio.

Felt good.

Not sore this morning…yet!

I know I will be though.

Back to photo logging the food intake.

Breakfast ~ Protein coffee with a treat of whipped cream topping.

Lunch ~ Thin steak with onions and topped with cheese.

Blueberries! MMMM

 Dinner ~ Simple, quick.

PB with whole grain crackers

Not shown ~ was a glass of wine I had after getting home from the gym

and a Chobani flip yogurt I had as a morning snack.

Was not too hungry at all yesterday.

Until next time…Be fantabulous!


Thursday, April 16, 2015


Good morning my lovlies,hope all is well in your part of the globe.

The weather truly has been delightful and I am so very thankful for that.

That has certainly been a contributor to me feeling a bit good mentally.

A little.

Choices are what each of us have on a daily basis with all aspects of our lives.

We are only in control of what we do and how we react.

I lost a lot of who I am during my 21 years of marriage.

I allowed his wants and desires to take precedent.

Now where that truly is what marriage is partially about it should be a 2 way street.

It was not.

If he did not like it, well it rarely happened.

That is my past.

I am choosing to surround myself with those who can truly be happy for the decisions I make.

I do not know if I will get married again, not even certain if I want to at this point, but what I do know is I would want those closest to me to be happy should I choose to do so.

There are things about where I live that I love

There are things I do not like so much


I want to further my ministry so a move might be in my future

Or not.

Though it would be a combo of happy and sad moving away from those I care about

I know I need to surround myself with ones that would support that decision.

Friendship is a gift.

At 2 Corinthians 6:13 it admonishes us to widen out.

To reach out to others.

This is what I am doing


truly enjoying really getting to know so many who had been in my life but only at an acquaintance basis.

The quality of our lives

depends much on the quality of our friendships.

A true friend can help direct your thoughts toward what is good.

Are happy when you are happy and build you up.

They do not get jealous or upset when you spend time with others,

but rejoice that you are following the Bibles admonition and counsel to widen out.

Until next time…keep loving!


Friday, April 10, 2015


Good morning lovlies!

AAAh the weather here is blah


I am working on my outlook not being so bleak.

This weekends weather should be much better…


Looking forward to it!

A very sweet friend offered us an opportunity to get away this weekend…

I wish we had been able to go but other obligations prevented us from accepting the offer.

Brought tears to my eyes though to have such loving friends in our lives.

To think of us like that!

Some days I just wanna run.

Run away from here and go somewhere new.

Somewhere I do not see something…

Hear something…

Smell something…

that brings back memories of the part of my life that is now over.

Then I have reminders that even though my life is…has…changed I have such an amazing group of people in my life that mean so much to me.

That I would be running away from them too.

The saying:

“Change is inevitable…Growth is optional.”

Just runs rampant through my head so much lately.

Change has taken place, not by my choice…

The growth, the learning from it…

That is totally on me.

I have learned a lot and am still learning and growing from the experience.

Not something I would recommend by any means to anyone EVER…

Though looking for the positive…

even in a life changing experience as divorce.

I hate that word.

I hate all that surrounds it.

I hate all that it effects and the people it hurts.

It is not just me…

It is our children…

It is our family members…

It is our friends.

It gets a little easier each day…

Then I have a day where the pain is so raw it feels like it all just happened…


Feelings of not being worthy of being loved…

Like I am trash that was thrown out…

used up and kicked to the curb.

God seems to know those times before I even do because it is on those days

that I get a call…

an email..

a text…

or a visit from one of my friends out of the blue and they just remind me of all that is good

that life continues

that I am loved

that it is ok to move on.

Each day certainly brings its own struggles and anxieties


each day I can find the strength to keep going

to keep smiling despite the desire to just curl up in a corner and cry

makes me stronger

brings me closer to healing

closer to really allowing myself to move on

and live again.

Today is a new day

One of which we have yet to see what it holds.

Hope your day is one filled with love and laughter.

Remember to hug those you love!

Until next time…do something that brings a smile to a friend!


Friday, April 3, 2015

People are Gonna Talk

Good morning lovlies.

It truly is so sad that some people just feel the need to make assumptions and then speak about them as if they were fact.

If only they would ask questions before making those assumptions so much could be avoided.

People that talk badly about others will continue to do so.

They are looking for something they probably will never find.

Their expectations are not reasonable.

Even though I know this, it does not take the hurt away when I hear about it.

It hurts because these are people that supposedly cared about me.

Each day is bringing its own challenges.

Some days I can handle these challenges better than others.

Some days all I want to do is to scream.

Other days I wish I had a punching bag.

Then I do have days when I can handle it all pretty good.

Though those days are still far and few between.

I am hopeful though.

Hopeful the days will get easier to handle.

Hopeful my memory will return.

Hopeful my heart will stop hurting so much.

I am so grateful for…

my faith…

my kiddos…

my dad…

my friends.

Without them I just do not want to know where I would be!

I leave you today with this question…

How do you handle difficult people in your life?

Until next time…keep smiling!


Thursday, March 26, 2015

It’s an End

Good morning my lovlies…

The week is winding down.

For that I am personally thankful for.

This week has definitely been a week of stress and anxiety for me.

I did enjoy the sun.

The warmer temps.

Recess with the kiddos in my class.

Looking forward to better days.

Warmer days.

Days filled with happy memories.

I loved this recipe and hope you do too.

Salisbury style Steak

  • 4 Hamburgers, frozen

  • envelope of onion soup mix

  • envelope of mushroom gravy

  • 1c water

  • 8oz pkg sliced mushroom

  • 1T Garlic seasoning

  1. Make a freeze hamburger patties or buy frozen patties.

  2. Place in crockpot. Sprinkle soup and gravy over top.

  3. Add mushrooms, sprinkle garlic seasoning over mushrooms and then pour water over all in pot.

  4. Cook on low for 6 hours

This is so very moist and fall apart in your mouth meat.

Easy Peasy.

I added some broccoli red peppers and zucchini in cheese sauce for my side.

Kids loved it.

It was an experiment for a dinner I am planning when some friends come over.

So glad it was a hit with the kids.

Hope your Thursday has many happy moments in it.

Until next time…be amazing!


Tuesday, March 24, 2015


Good morning lovlies.


a week has passed.

Time does have a way of flying.

Or maybe it is that I keep forgetting things?

I am not sure.

Maybe a combo of both.

What I do know is this emotional roller coaster needs to stop and let me off.

I am good…

then I lose it.

I hate it.

What I truly hate is the memory lapses I am experiencing.

I have always been so good about remembering things.

Did not need to write appointments down…

Or make notes to remind myself to take care of important things.

Saw my Dr and she said the anxiety and stress absolutely has an impact of what I am experiencing.

Will return in a few weeks after results of some tests to just rule out anything else that might be a cause…

But in the meantime she said to get some daily exercise.


There is that word again.

I know I need to exercise for many reasons.

It has always been the missing thing in my program.

SO I am making notes to remind myself to get up and exercise. =)

To dust off my mini trampoline…

To get out my exercise equipment.

To actually use the tools I already have to help with my stress and anxiety.

As the days get warmer and we regain our sidewalks walking to work will start as well as family walks a few times a week.


Hope your Tuesday is an awesome one.

Until next time…take deep breaths…


Saturday, March 21, 2015

Just Breathe

Good morning lovlies…

This by far has been one of the most stressful and challenging times of my life.

If I let myself dwell on the  difficulties…

the negatives…

the harshness…

the ones that have no clue…

I don’t think I would be able to make it through.

Instead I am focusing on the positives.

The love…

the encouragement…

the blessing I have in my life.

With that I want to thank you…

thank you to those who have called…

those who have emailed…

those who have reached out to me.

Your thoughts and prayers are a huge help.

Most of all I am so thankful for my faith.

Without that I do not even want to think where I might be mentally…


Let me tell you I am clinging hard…

white knuckled clinging and

just throwing myself into service to Him.

That is when and where I find my peace.

There is just no better place for me to be…

and for my children to see that is where I can find my peace and happiness.

At my meeting this past week someone made mention I was smiling and that was good to see.

Inside my heart is hurting,

I feel broken to pieces,

but when I looked around and saw the happiness…

the love…

the encouragement from people I care about too…

and know they care about me and my children,

how can one not smile?

How can one not be thankful?

How can one not embrace all that is truly good and hold on for dear life?

There is no other place I’d rather be.

Until next time…be grateful!


Thursday, March 19, 2015


Good morning lovlies…

Heads up, this is a post for me.

To work through the feelings I am having.

Because…Actually technically Tuesday was the day I closed the door to my past…

I have dealt with a lot over the past couple of years.

Emotionally draining things.

None of that truly compared to things I have endured the past week.

My son who has made some life choices I don’t agree with sent me a very harsh and hateful letter.

I love him, that will never change.

I just hope he knows that.

Then Tuesday I had my divorce hearing.

Now all is final.

My marriage of 21 years is over.

I am now a single mom.

That term stings me.

Hurts my heart.

Saddens me.

I have lost the person I thought 22 years ago would be my life partner.

I have lost my best friend.

The flood of emotions and memories after signing on the dotted line has been unbelievable.

It has been an emotional roller coaster this past year since he told me he was leaving,


Pales in comparison to what I am feeling now.

The good and the bad.

Which has been an emotional whirlwind.

It is all a learning experience.

That is really what life is all about anyway.



Moving on.

I am done with so much.

I have to be.

It is time for me to begin truly look at who I allow in my life and to not repeat allowing my heart dictate my decisions.

I am working on:

Moving on.

Here is where I am.

Mentally and emotionally drained.

To only pick those who inspire.

It is a must.

Might sound harsh, but I have been there for many.

Lending ears to listen.

Arms to hug.

A shoulder to cry on.

Today I do not have any of that to offer.

Just not today.

I need to take care of me right now.

If I don’t I will not ever have those things to offer again.

I want, no need, to heal.

Until next time, be inspiring…


Thursday, March 12, 2015


Good morning lovlies!

Yesterday was gorgeous here, actually felt like spring!

Not so much this morning


we have more snow on its way this weekend.

Eventually spring will arrive.

The temps will be warmer.

I greatly look forward to that!

I have never been so busy as I have been lately.


Busy is good.

Keeps my mind off things that bother me.

It does have a down side though.

One I cannot help.

That of spending time with friends like I would like to.

I do have memories…

and photos…

I remember having a friend when I was a new mom who had found herself a single mom after her husband suddenly died. 

I remember taking it personally she could not hang out with me like we had.

I remember getting angry and hurt thinking she just did not care about me anymore.

I now know better.

It is a very hard adjustment.

Now I get it!

So glad we have kept in touch all these years.

In fact aside for the reasons we became single moms our lives of a single mom are parallel in many ways.

Her kids came first .

Her family was right in there.

Her parents had had some issues they needed her help in.

She no longer was a stay at home mom, but forced into the work force.

All this on top of having to deal with her own personal mental anguish of trying to handle it all.

We were not created to do this alone...

To be a one parent family.

Genesis 2:18 shares that man should not continue on his own.

Genesis 2:24 states that man and woman will be one flesh.

Combine the fact we were created to be together for eternity with the fact  we die.

But were were not meant to die.

Genesis 3:19 Adam and Eve condemned to death as were all of there offspring.

So we were not created to deal with being single parents.

Losing loved ones in death.

No wonder we have such a  difficult time dealing with it all.

It is not what God intended for us.

Thankfully he has also given us a way to return to the intended way we should be.

That is ultimately what gets me through the hardest days.

I know all I see and am dealing with today will someday soon be a distant memory.

Better things are on the horizon.

I just need to get through each day.

Take care of what needs to on that day.

This helps me to do that:

I worry and handle the things I need to each day.

The rest I cannot do anything about so no need to worry overly about them.

I have learned to count my blessings daily as well.

When I focus on those, the bad that I am dealing with just does not seem so bad.

It becomes manageable.

THAT in itself I am eternally grateful for.

Until next time…remain amazing!


Tuesday, March 10, 2015


Good morning friends…

Change happens.

It happens no matter if we want it to or not at times.

There has been sooo many changes in my life.

Things today I am thankful for are the same…

and very different from 2009..

To say I am the same person I was would not be a true statement.

Changes this past year have changed me more than I ever thought possible.

I have found strength I never knew I had.

We moved.

We have started new family traditions…

A Gifting Jar

A Gratitude Jar

Change happens.

22 years ago when I got married never did I think I would become a single mom.

Growing up all I ever wanted was to be married and have a family.

My marriage in no way was a fairy tale.

We had good times.

We had bad times.

We had times that were pure hell.

I took my vows seriously.

For better…

For worse.

Those vows though do not include adultery.

I thought I could at one point forgive and move on possibly healing our family.

I tried.

I can honestly say I did all I could to heal our family.

To bring it back together,

despite the great sacrifice I would have had to make.

So now my family IS healing….

without him.

He calls to say goodnight to the kids…


He takes them to the movies or bowling…


He will be in my life because we have children together.

He will not be my reason for waking …

ever  again.

When I look back, when I allow myself to think of the past…

I realize just how much I lost who I was.

Who I truly am.

I lost me trying to be who I though he wanted.

I craved to be appreciated…

To be loved…

To just be acknowledged.

Nothing I did seemed to produce any of that.

Since he walked out I realized I do not need validation from him.

Or anyone for that matter.

I am enough.

Since he walked out I have found strength I never knew I had.

When he told me he was leaving I thought I would fall apart.

That I would crumble.

That I would cease to exist.

I did not all apart.

I did not crumble.

I do exist.

As a matter of fact in so many ways I could not ever imagined just how well I am thriving!

The pain is still there, but I am finding ways to move past it.

Doing that just adds to my strength.

I still cry at times.

But I am healing.

I am alone,

But I am in no way lonely.

I have found an inner voice and strength that I just never knew was there.

I am looking forward to a new chapter beginning in my life.

I want to completely move on.

For this chapter to be officially closed.

To that day I look forward.

Until next time, keep building your inner strength…


Tuesday, February 24, 2015


Good morning my friends!

This past weekend was so much needed.

Family got together for a family day.

Laughing can help in a healing process.

I am absolutely so thankful for my family.

We had so many laughs.

So many smiles.

So many hugs.

So many crazy moments!

Gifts of love given.

Today I get another day to continue the healing.

Today I will work hard at letting go of the pain.

The pain of loving someone for so long that did not love me back.

The pain of losing a man I thought would be there for me forever.

That we would grow old together.

Letting go and accepting that he was not the man I thought he was when we got married.

Today I have the opportunity to accept my situation.

To thrive despite my circumstances.

To allow the emotions to flow,

So I can truly heal.

Something that comes to mind often when I do start feeling like my family is lost is…

We, my children and I, are a family.

Family means so much to me and when my soon to be ex-husband left us I felt like our family was shattered.

That is what truly does hurt the most.

So when she said to me we still are a family she helped me more with that statement than she might ever know.

I hear those words echo in my head often and I smile…

and cry…

and smile again.

We STILL are a family despite the fact he walked out.

We are close and are here for each other.

My kids are awesome and I love them so very much.

They are what really matters.

They are where I find my strength.

Just looking into their faces…

their eyes.

I know we will be ok.

Until next time keep strong!


Saturday, February 21, 2015

A New Day

I made it through yesterday.

Not without tears.

Not without yelling in my head.

But I made it.

It was hard.

Though my soon to be ex did ask me to forgive him…

he then found someone else…


while we were in talking stages of what I thought was us working on getting back together.

To heal our family.

So I question how much he truly was sorry.

Through this though I have grown.

I have learned it is better to be silent in many situations.

I have been very angry.

I have been working on other ways to deal with that anger though.

I have learned to let go…

To let go of things I cannot change.

I cannot change someone else.

I can only change how I deal with actions of others.

I truly think that is where I find a lot of peace.

Knowing I can let go of the hurt.


That the actions of someone I loved dearly with all my heart…

Do not define me.

That I can move on…

and not just survive…



That is my goal to thrive and become a better person.

To be happy with me.

To be a good example for my kids.

To show them we can only change us.

How we deal with the actions of others.

Other people that hurt us.

Other people that disappoint us.

We can change ourselves.

Not for those that hurt

or disappoint

But for us.

For our happiness.

For our peace of mind.

Looking for that silver lining.

This would be one.

That I am learning to be a better me.

Until next time keep shining…


Friday, February 20, 2015

Happy Anniversary

No, not anymore.

Today 22 years ago I said I do to my soon to be ex-husband.

To say this past year has been hard would be a great understatement.

Our marriage certainly was not a storybook romance but our vows stated…

“For better or worse”

“In good times and bad”

I took those vows seriously.

I cannot speak for him, but I was not the one who left.

The one who cheated.

I also have a very strong religious conviction…

As did he when we first were married…

So at Matthew 5:31,32 it states the only grounds to divorce.

So where my conscience is clear to divorce him,

that does not help with the emotional turmoil I feel.

I have not just lost my husband but…

despite it all he was my best friend.

I know I am not the first to go through this.

I know we all handle things differently.

I know I have sooo many things to be thankful for in my life…

and I am.

I am so very thankful for people I have in my life.

My family…

my kids are awesome!

My friends…

Some new that I have met with our move to a new area,

they have become dear to me.

Some that I have been able to reconnect through all of this from before I was married.

One thing I realized during this past 10 months is just how much I did not reach out to friends.

I spoke to no one about the things that upset me, it would have made things worse in my marriage.

I see the blessings in my life…

I am so very thankful for them.

A reminder to me:

Just breathe!

Take things one day at a time.

Today my heart is broken.

I feel sadder than I think I ever have.

I will do as the above quote states though…

I will fake it until I make it!

And I WILL make it!!!

I truly hope your day today is a great one!

Until next time keep being amazing…



Saturday, January 3, 2015


Good morning lovlies!

Everyday has its own challenges.

Each person faces their own demons.

All in all though I try to live by what the above quote says.

In line with teaching that outlook to my children I have shared 2 ways in which we are striving to keep things positive in our daily lives…

A Gifting Jar

A Gratitude Jar

Both of these help us to focus on good in others and in our personal lives.

There is already so much negativity out there so at times it certainly can be difficult looking to the positive,

and it certainly can be easier to just allow that negativity to swallow us up.

It is a fight.

A struggle.

Not easy.


it is a fight so worth fighting and not giving up on.

Why this focus now?


I have focused almost half of my life trying to please and make 1 person happy.

That person was not me.

All my energy and time went into that and in the process I lost who I was.

I am truly finding me again,

the person I was

it has been a struggle,

it still is a struggle,

a struggle to me is worth it though.

It is a very difficult thing when a person in your life is so demanding of your time and energy,

especially when they do not realize they command such attention.

It also amazes me at how much you just do not realize it until you take a step back


they do,

because you love and care about them that initially it seems natural,

a good thing,

a loving thing.

But when it begins to rob you of your personal joy,

when you begin to lose who you are,

that is when it needs to find a balance.

If nothing else I have certainly learned a lot over my 21 years of marriage.

I have many good memories.

I have 3 children that I love dearly.

I can honestly say I love my soon to be ex-husband, and probably always will

just too much has happened and changed for us to be together.

Even something as horrible as my divorce I am looking to the positive.

It is what I have to do to cope.

To ultimately be happy.

The alternative is not an option for me.

Not to say I do not have my moments.

Times I hide in the bathroom or bedroom and cry.

Times where all I want to do is to go to sleep and just not wake up.

I do.

I choose at those times to use tools that help me cope…

to get through…

until I see the sun again.

This is me,

and you know what?

I like me!

Until next time be happy!!


Thursday, January 1, 2015

Hello 2015

Good morning there lovlies! Can you believe 2015 has arrived?!

I am happy to say good bye to 2014.

It held some pretty bad times for me.

I learned a lot,

but would not ever want to revisit what I have been through.

That being said there is still the finalizing of my divorce next month so struggles will continue through 2015.

One thing is changing though.

That is how I think about things.

It seems everywhere I turn people,

people I care about,

are struggling.

I come in contact with many people daily in my work,

everyone just about that I meet has struggles.

It just seems no matter where we turn people are dealing with such hard things.

Health issues.

Mental health issues.

Financial issues.

Family issues.

No matter what I am dealing with personally,

the only way I keep myself from being just completely unhappy is to not focus on all the negative,

but rather look for the positive even in whatever bad situation is thrown at me.

If we truly look hard enough good can be found in most issues.

There are so many things in our lives we just cannot change,

we are powerless to change them.


We can change our attitude, how we look at things.

How we approach what we might be going through.

How many times have we heard of people kicking cancer and the doctors are baffled as to why.

More times than not it was the persons positive outlook that was vital to the persons success.

For me part of that attitude is gratitude.

I find that when I focus on the good, the blessings I do have in my life I can cope with the bad that comes.

I mean how ungrateful I would be if I did not give thanks daily


focus on that good despite what not so good is happening?!

To help my children with this,

and myself in this process starting tonight we are going to begin making a Gratitude Jar.

Each night when we sit down for dinner we will each write down something good that happened that day.

This helps in so many ways.

First it helps us to change our thinking looking for good even in what we might think is the worst day ever.

Next if we are having a “worst day ever” we can open the jar and read some of our blessings and remember.

Finally they are our memories and

we can sit at a family time together pull them all out and remember together,

sharing and being able again to be thankful for all that we are truly blessed with.

Many people give thanks and focus on that 1 day a year.

Here in our family we do it as often as possible.

This will help us to focus on it daily,

making it a habit of showing our love and gratitude for all that is good in our lives.

So until next time be fantabulous!!