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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Back & Forth… AGAIN!

AAAGGGHHHH!

All I want is to be at a “normal” weight and BMI and this whole head thing just has to keep getting in the way!!!!!!

Seriously. One day I KNOW surgery is the way for me.

Then an article on how this person or that person lost weight…a lot of weight… catches my eye and I am off again…oh I can do this on my own.

The thing is I can’t.

I have tried.

So many times…so many “diets”. I certainly can loose weight but I never have reached goal…I have ALWAYS gained it back…all of it plus more. Which has brought me to my highest weight yet(366)…ever and I am done!

I know I need to find a way to eat that will sustain me the rest of my life.

I know sugar and simple carbs do NOT like my body…actually it is the other way around…my body doe NOT like them. It rebels…tries to remind me we are not friends, but do I listen? Not usually. I NEED to do this.

Am I trying to talk myself into surgery here? Nope! I talking myself through this. Reasoning on the facts. The proof of my attempts.

I have tried so many different ways of eating…like vegan, flexitarian, raw,  juicing, low fat, low carb and low calories.  I have used programs like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig AND NutriSystem! I have busted butt at the gym.

So where I HAVE learned things about me, I have not been successful in finding a sustainable way to lose the weight AND keep it off, or find myself at goal. As a matter of fact as an adult I have not been able to get below 295 pounds! That is the weight I gave birth to my oldest at 17 years ago and I have NEVER been able to get myself below it. SIGH

Researching weight loss surgery….

I see hope.

Hope of being at a normal and healthy weight and BMI…an active mom…an active wife.

I know all plans work for some people and out there there is a plan for everyone. For me this is the plan I do feel strongly as I research more and more is what is going to be the key to my success…

I am back mentally to where I was about a year ago when I originally decided to go down this road and that too tells me this is right for me.

13 days to go to see Dr. Toder and see what she says about getting my insurance resubmitted for approval of surgery.

One day at a time and breathe!

Until next time…

Trish

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