Tonight was not so good, well part of it anyway. Most was pretty good other than…
I took a fall.
I twisted my right foot.
I landed square on my knee…cap.
It swelled pretty good.
I caught myself with my right hand.
It is sore too.
I am hurting.
I expect to be quite sore tomorrow and this stresses me!
I have a busy busy week ahead of me that I CANNOT be lamed up for.
overweight morbidly obese body came down really hard.
The first time I have actually felt any regret at all over my decision to not have weight loss surgery.
I still own it, accept it, but my thoughts turned to “what if”. I certainly would not have had as much weight come down on my knee. Still a lot, just less.
I felt so angry!
Angry with myself.
I am still pretty upset about it, with myself. It was just so unnecessary. I am feeling sore and stiff now as I am actually writing this.
I want to eat!
I want to feed and burry this emotion! I don’t want to deal with it!
I don’t want to think about losing weight, how I am going to do it anymore.
I just want to feed my mouth with
poison chocolate…the stuff that certainly is not a good choice no matter what.
I will not give in though.
I will not feed my emotions!
I will work through them.
I will keep moving ever forward.
I will eventually figure this all out.