Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Good, Then Not So Much

I woke up hurting. I know this is my own fault as I am the heaviest I have been ever!

I need to do something and now, not later because with so many variables even if I want to have Weight Loss Surgery there is a long process, many Doctors to see and there is a possibility I could be denied. However the fact remains I NEED to lose this weight.

I am really glad I saved my old Weight Watchers information from when they released the Core*. THAT is when I really did well. I remember the weight just came off 1 pound, 3 pounds at a time, I felt good and I want to be there again.

I can and have been successful on Core*, but I know me, I am afraid of that hit when I reach 295. For whatever reason my body has not let me get below that for YEARS! I have tried and tried and then when I hit that number, I stall and stall for months and the weight comes back again, adding more to the party. I am tired of that party and want to join another one.

I want to be the healthiest I can be for surgery, I know this means losing at least 10% of my body weight, for me that is 35 pounds. Can I do it? YES!

Breakfast came about and I made scrambled eggs with some fat free cheddar and a bit of Olive Oil. A juicy orange on the side and a cup of decaf coffee with Truvia and skim milk. A great start and all Core.

Lunch was chicken sausages with spinach, fat free mozzarella and Olive Oil with cherries on the side, right along with water. Another great meal.

Then came dinner. I have not been able to do any real shopping for WEEKS because of still fighting trying to get 8 weeks worth of back pay for short term disability while my Hubs was out with his depression. UUUGGHH! Anyway after shopping the kids really wanted pizza so I got 2 ordered, they actually were free because Dead River has these Pizza Club cards that get marked when you buy pizza OR fill up with gas…ours typically gets filled when we buy gas. So with 2 filled I got dinner free…for the kids…so I thought….before…I smelled them all the way home!!!

I had 5! Yes that is not a typo! I ate 5 slices. I could not believe it!

A great day until I caved to the smell of pizza…ok I can’t beat myself up over this I know even before on Core* I was not perfect, in fact after weigh in I would have a fast food dinner of choice, so this is where I am.

I have got to get my back and knees to stop hurting. I hate it!! Tomorrow I again have a clean slate, one I plan on making with a majority of good Core* choices!


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